For someone who already isn’t all that fond of the government, one sure-fire way to fuel my hatred is to get the IRS on my case.

I always used to make fun of those commercials from tax attorneys who said, “Is the IRS after you? We can help!” I always thought to myself, “Pay your taxes, people, and this won’t be a problem!” Now I am having to eat my words (I”m getting really good at that).

Sometimes, honest, decent people who pay their taxes (through gritted teeth, of course, but we pay them nonetheless) get it up the tailpipe from the IRS. Now I’m one of them.

As I went to my mailbox earlier this week, I was hoping to get my final piece of paperwork so I could work on this year’s tax return. What I wasn’t expecting was a big, honking envelope from the IRS. As I opened it, I almost threw up in my driveway. I won’t go into details, but let’s just say that our blessed government says that Mr. Oliver and I owe money. A lot of money. And they’re wrong.

So I make a frantic phone call to an accountant and beg – through tears – for them to fix it. I have an appointment tomorrow.

Here’s what I don’t understand.

1. That there are actually people out there who think that our tax system isn’t broken. The government loses our mail, and we think they’re doing a darn fine job of regulating our money? Come on.

2. Although I had a certain professor who would argue to the contrary, money in the hands of the government does not do the same thing for our economy as money in the hands of the people. Money in the hands of the people is a better stimulus to our economy, so why is our government trying to take my money in times of economic crisis? I had not cut down on my spending, despite the slow economy, until I got the infamous IRS Letter. This week, I’ve bought nothing but absolute necessities. Way to boost morale!

3. I may not be the smartest gal in any room, but I’m certainly not the dumbest, either. So, if I couldn’t figure out what in tarnation the IRS was talking about in their godforsaken letter, how in the world is Jim Bob down the road going to be able to understand such nonsense? Our government that was designed “by the people and for the people” has veered drastically off course, and is now a government “by the government, for the government.”

I’ll keep you posted on my goings-on with the IRS. And if anyone has any tips on how to go about dealing with them, I’m certainly open to suggestions…