Just like everything else with parenting, weaning is a hot topic. I’ve heard everything from “forced-weaning is cruel” to “if you don’t get that kid off the breast, he’ll NEVER grow up!”
I’m a rare breed – a scheduler who has opted for extended nursing. Which means that folks on both sides of the fence think I’m either weird or doing irreparable harm to my child. You can’t please everyone, eh?
If you read my earlier post about Jonathan refusing milk from a cup, you know that I was starting to try to wean. Jonathan didn’t approve. So, in desperation, I offered everything from soy milk to Carnation Instant Breakfast to Nestle Quik. Seriously. If you know anything about me, you know that I’m a bit of a health nut and I don’t do things like give my kids Nestle Quik (except on very rare, special occasions!)
Then a friend reminded me that Jonathan IS still a baby and maybe, just MAYBE, he was trying to tell me something. Like, “hey mom…I was a month early and I’ve always been a little needier than my big brother and I’m just not quite ready to stop nursing yet.” Since he can’t actually say all that, maybe that’s what he was trying to tell me when he was hurling cups of milk in my general direction.
Even after two children, I’m still trying to figure out who I am as a mom, and I am for sure trying to figure out who my children are. As I try to figure out those two things, I’m also trying to figure out how to mesh who I am as a parent with who they are as children…and…sigh. It’s a tough job.
Here’s what I know:
While I generally favor teaching children those things that they need to know as adults as quickly as possible (I’m a fan of early potty-training, learning to pick up after themselves, getting dressed, etc.), there are certain things that can’t be forced. Just as you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink, you can give a child a cup of milk but, well, you see my point. And because nursing is both a source of nutrition and comfort to a child, it makes sense to me that those other important life skills may be easier taught if he’s feeling nice and close to me (and isn’t all hopped up on chocolate milk).
And, what is it about weaning before baby is ready that is beneficial? Wouldn’t it be better for me to continue to giving Jonathan his mommy milk than to try to force him to drink Nestle Quik?
James was ready to wean at a year. Jonathan is 18 months old and STILL not ready. And I’m ok with that. Rather than fighting the milk battle I’ve decided to add back the feeding we dropped, continue offering milk in a cup, and let Jonathan give me a hint (like taking sips from his milk cup!) when he’s ready to start weaning.
What I am going to do is be thankful that I have my mommy milk to give him. I am going to ignore those that say I’m babying him or that he’s NEVER going to wean if I don’t do it now. I am going to give my kiddo what he needs because I can. And I’m going to avoid nursing in front of those folks who think it’s gross to nurse a toddler.
March 25, 2010 at 3:28 am
Jama,
Glad to hear it. One of the reasons that I homeschool, is because I feel like kids are being forced to grow up too quickly. Social pressures, too much homework, absurd expectations to perform that even I can’t live up to as a grown adult, are all things that I have no desire for my kids to experience. And with all of this forced growth comes severe emotional distress, detachment issues with humanity, shallow kids who are book smart,but have no heart. Extended breastfeeding to me, shows love and a desire to maintain a bond with your little one for as long as you can until HE is ready to move from one stage of growth to the next. Let’s face it, to say he will never grow up or ween is just stupid. We can’t stop time and human growth, if we could, I would have done it ages ago since my 4 boys are growing way too quickly for my liking, hahaha.
April 19, 2011 at 5:23 pm
18 months does seem a little old to continue the breastfeeding. If your son isn’t willing to drink milk from a cup, my first question is, is it the taste of the cows milk he doesn’t like or is the cup the issue?
If the milk if the issue, try pumping the breast milk and getting him to drink it from the cup instead of straight from the tap. Then gradually add regular milk to it while reducing a proportionate amount of breast milk. Eventually it will all be regular cows milk. Worked great for our kids.
If the cups the issue, try different cups until you get on he likes.
Just a thought.